Confronting An Alcoholic Friend

by Joe
(Norfolk, VA)

My friend is an alcoholic and I believe a functioning alcoholic. I have known him for about 10 years. How do I go about telling him that he is an alcoholic or do I just leave it alone. He drinks 24/7 and even drives his truck. He is very well-off. In the morning the first thing he does is mix himself a bloody mary and continues drinking throughout the day. How do I confront him about his alcoholism?

Reply

Firstly, you MUST confront your friend about his drunk driving. He is risking his life and, worse, those of innocent bystanders. You say he drives a truck, imagine the damage that he could do to a family car? If he did injure or kill anyone he would ruin his life and those of countless others. Whatever about his alcoholism, he needs to stop drinking and driving now.

Secondly, you believe he is alcohol dependent. You may well be right. Is it your responsibility to tell him? That is for you to decide. At the moment he is a functioning alcoholic but it is only a matter of time before he is unable to carry on with 'normal' life and his drinkng will become apparent to all.

If you care for him then by all means confront him but be prepared, as he may well be in denial about his problem (especially as he is still functioning and so probably believes everything is O.K.) and may well resent your intrusion into his personal life and reject you as a friend. So you must decide what is more important for you, do you....

-remain his friend and watch him slide down the slippery slope.

-risk your friendship and confront him about his drinking.

Whichever you do choose to do, please get him to stop drinking and driving, point him in the direction of my page the consequences of drunk driving so he can get an idea of the pain driving under the influence can cause.

All the best