When I drink I have feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem and being paranoid. If I stop drinking for several days I don't feel this way. Is this a mental side effect of long term use? If so, can moderation make these feelings go away? I feel like I'm a functional alcoholic on the edge of not being functional. These feelings are ruining my relationship with a wonderful woman who does not understand why I'm this way.
It certainly seems as if these feelings are a symptom of you alcohol abuse. It is difficult, however, to generalize the effects of long term alcohol abuse on personality as we are all unique and alcohol affects us in different ways and to varying degrees.
As to your question about whether moderate drinking will make these feelings go away, it is impossible to say. Only you can see if this might work. You say that you are a functional alcoholic on the verge of becoming non-functional. Surely this is a sign that you should do something about your drinking (as are the feelings alcohol causes you to have.) Perhaps it would be a good idea to visit your physician/therapist/support group and discuss your drinking BEFORE you lose control.