Is Girlfriend an Alcoholic?

by Ed
(Lunenburg, MA)

To be brief. I have had issues and talked with my girlfriend about her drinking in the past. She drinks about a bottle of wine a night and does it as she says "To get a buzz. Why else would you drink." She drinks the bottle in as little as 2 hours but she says she doesn't have a problem. When I am around at night she might only have a couple glasses but when I am out she will drink at least a bottle.


Is it me that has the problem or her?

Reply


If your girlfriend is drinking a bottle of wine each night, it is highly possible that she has a substance abuse problem. If she drinks more when you’re not around it may be in an effort to hide her problem from you.

She is probably right when saying that she’s drinking to get a buzz. It sounds like you are meaning to ask, “Why do you want to get a buzz every single night?” Many alcoholics are unsure of the reasons why they drink. Most of the time it involves the desire to escape emotionally. Sometimes it is merely an addiction to a pleasurable feeling. She will likely need counseling in order to figure out the answer for herself.

You’re doing the right thing by asking this question. It is important to assess this potential issue before your relationship progresses any further.

You could try suggesting that you guys do something together that wouldn’t involve drinking. You could suggest an activity such as white water rafting or another physical daytime activity. See what her reaction is. Does she turn her nose up at the idea of an activity which doesn’t involve alcohol? Does she have trouble finding pleasure outside of drinking? If so, this is a sign that there’s a problem.

If subtle things like suggesting other activities do not work, open up to her your concerns. Tell her how her drinking affects you and how it worries you. Say these things in a supportive and nonjudgmental way. Let her know that you want a healthy relationship and that you love her.

There are many other things that provide pleasurable experiences outside of substance abuse. Ask her to try new things and get out of her old habits. She may find out that life is much sweeter than she thought. A solid, healthy relationship is very rewarding.

You can learn more about Dating an Alcoholic by following the link. Reading about the Signs of Alcoholism and what its like to be Living With an Alcoholic is also recommended.

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