I've Had More Bad Experiences Than I Would Like To Admit....
(Prince George, BC, Canada)
I’m an ex-alcoholic. I drank to cover up my social anxiety. Everyone has their own reasons, but that was mine. It became an addiction, but I never thought of it as an addiction because I only did it once in awhile and it was whenever there was a social event. I didn’t think I was an alcoholic because I didn’t do the things that I thought an alcoholic did. I thought an alcoholic was someone who drank to forget their problems, someone who drank by themselves, and someone who drank every day. I didn’t do any of those things so it took me a long time to realize that I had a problem. It got to the point that I had accepted I had a problem, and wanted to try to prove to my boyfriend that I could handle it. So I would start with one drink, feel okay. Go onto another, still feeling okay. Than I would tell my boyfriend I could handle a couple more and I would be fine. This same thing went on last New Years and it ended up back firing. I got so drunk to the point I blacked out. I woke up the next morning in the hospital. My boyfriend took me home and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to hear what was to come next because I knew I messed up big time.
He told me I couldn’t walk; I was all over the place. I had broken his friend's coffee table from falling into it. My boyfriend took me home and we started fighting. I didn’t want to be around him at all and tried to get out the front door to leave. He stood in front of the door to stop me and I started hitting him. My boyfriend had to call his mom and step-dad to come over and help him because he could not handle me. They drove over, tried to get
me into the car and I fought with them over it. They finally got me in, I was crying, and they had to put the child locks on so that I couldn’t jump out of the car. They took me to emergency and had me lay in a bed until I sobered up some more. The whole time I was in the hospital I kept saying how horrible my boyfriend was and how I didn’t want to see him ever again. I just kept repeating that over and over. I love him with all of my heart and the only thing that would make me think of why I would say that is because I was still having a hard time getting over him cheating on me the 2 years previously. It was a very traumatizing night and the only person I could blame was myself
I was so ashamed of myself that I was embarrassed to be seen by his mom and step-dad. I hated myself and still do for what I put them and my boyfriend through. To this day I don’t understand why he decided to stay with me. He must really love me for we are now engaged a year later. To this day, I am afraid of repeating what I did that night so I quit drinking. I have gotten to the point now where I can say no to alcohol.
This definitely was not my first bad experience, there were many more that I went through when I still lived with my mom. I look back and wish that I could take it all back, but that is literally impossible. The best advice I can give is to look back on what you did as a learning experience and grow from it
. It will only make you stronger. And remember, your actions affect the people around you more than they affect yourself.
That is my story and I hope someone else can benefit from it.