The Best Alcohol Quotes on the Internet

Medically Reviewed By Kayla Loibl | Last Edited : January 09, 
| 4 Sources

Quotations to make you laugh, cry or sit up and take notice of your drinking

alcohol quotes

Okay, alcohol quotes, I gathered a bunch of  them which I have put down on this page, I'm certain there are many more, so if you have any ideas please get in touch with me and then I can add them. I sorted the quotes a little so first you will find what I consider to be the best ones and then other random quotes

New alcohol quotes will be added to this page.

Charles' Best Alcohol Quotes

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
Lady Astor
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Winston Churchill

I drink to make other people interesting.
Dave Barry

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
Richard Braunstein alcohol quotes

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
Quoted in P.S. I Love You

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Lady Astor

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway

More Alcohol Quotes

"Sir, you're drunk!"
"Madam, you're ugly; But at least I'll be sober in the morning"
Winston Churchill

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
Frank Zappa

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
Dave Berry

I've never been into wine. I'm a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. alcohol quotesYou don't sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tend to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot.
Dave Berry

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright

I drink when I have occasion... and sometimes when I have no occasion.
Miguel De Cervantes

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
P.J. O'Rourke

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra

Yet More Alcohol Quotes

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking.

Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.
alcohol quotesALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, The Big Book

The contrast which exists between the abstemious man and the drunkard is this--the former governs his affairs, but the affairs of the latter govern him.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

Alcoholism is the disease of more.
Caroline Knapp, Drinking: A Love Story

"Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having."
Mitch Hedberg

My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.
Robert E. Lee

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.
Oscar Levant

Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.
John Green, Paper Towns

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.
Author Unknown

I always drank, from when it was legal for me to drink. And there was never a time for me when the goal wasn't to get as hammered as I could possibly afford to. I never understood social drinking, that's always seemed to me like kissing your sister.
STEPHEN KING, interview, Sept. 14, 2000

That’s all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.
Ringo Starr

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley

I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
Jim Carrey

Lead Writer/Reviewer : Kayla Loibl

Licensed Medical Health Professional 


I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. Read More


Good Reads. Alcohol Quotes.

Everyday Health. 14 Drinking Quotes to Remember if You Love Alcohol a Little Too Much. April 17, 2018.

Good Housekeeping. 13 Quotes About Alcohol to Help Inspire Balance. January 24, 2019.

Brainy Quote. Alcohol Quotes.

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