Alcoholic Father and his Children

by Karen
(Victoria, Australia)

When my husband is very drunk - slurring words, yelling at the dogs, falling over - I take my youngest child out of the house to keep her safe. When sober, my husband is aggressive towards me, telling me he would never hurt her, but I know how this went with my older daughter, and the emotional abuse she took from him. Am I doing the right thing and what do I say to him when he is so aggressive. So far, nothing has worked.

Reply

There is no doubt that you are doing the right thing by taking your child out of the house when your husband is drunk. Even if he does not direct his anger at your daughter, she can still be affected by his behavior.

As for confronting your husband about your worries, it seems that he gets very defensive when you do so, which implies that he is feeling a sense of guilt at what he put your elder daughter through. There is very little you can say to him about this issue if he reacts with aggression. If you tell him how you feel about his behavior, his drinking and your concerns about your child then that is all you can do. Let him do what he will with the information.

It is essential to remember that your daughter's welfare needs to be put above all else and you should do what you believe is best for her.

All the best.