Alcoholic Husband Has Everyone Fooled

by Jen
(grand island)

So after getting home last night and not saying where he had been....I asked. That lead to him flipping the couch I was lying down on watching tv. I came to find out he was out drinking. The night before when he left he did not saying where he was going...met the same friend at another bar.

The last time we went out as a family was to a football game - after 3 hrs when it was time to leave he couldn't talk and could hardly keep a walking pace faster that a 2 yr old.

Or how about when his cousin invited us to go tubing in a town about 45 min away. He had to keep chugging beers and after he was out he drank other peoples. That same night at his uncles house he drank half of a 1.75 liter of Pendleton whisky mixed with a small amount of coke. He fell asleep in my new terrain (SUV) before we were out of town. Right after we pulled into our driveway he threw up in my new car.

He tells me that he does NOT have a drinking problem. But then smacks me on the ass and tells me that I should work out a little harder. I am 5 ft 8 and weigh 139. I think my body is beautiful.

Its hard. I miss the man that i feel in love with. I want out of this. Also he has had surgery on his elbow about 3 weeks ago. So instead of getting addicted to pain pills he says he drinks to make the pain go away. Also he can't help with anything around the house but he can drive to the bar, drink for hours and is then capable of driving home.

It broke my heart when I heard my nephew tell my best friend that he is mean to me. That he doesn't come across that he loves me.

The Love of My Life is an Alcoholic

(Arizona)

Hello. I am a 32-year-old professional woman who is married to an alcoholic. He is the great love of my life, he has an incredibly magnetic personality, he’s funny, attractive, intelligent, creative, and, unfortunately, an alcoholic. The fact that he is an alcoholic virtually erases all of those wonderful traits that are becoming more and more buried under his alcoholism.

We have had many “discussions” about his alcoholism. He’s promised that he will quit or cut down and be responsible. He’s made it a couple of weeks, but that’s about it. We have been married seven years (thankfully, no children) and I fear that I am reaching my breaking point. I’m tired of being the responsible one. The one who makes sure everything gets done. I get to worry and he gets to get drunk. He wastes our money on beer and vodka and I make sure the bills get paid. It’s pretty unfair. The problem is…I love him, but only when he’s sober.

In some ways I’m lucky. He’s not abusive; he does not yell or become belligerent. He’s more of an escapist. He runs from his problems and alcohol takes him the farthest away. I have been going to therapy and working out with a personal trainer to have something for myself, but it has not helped with the empty feeling I have when I came home to him. It’s incredibly lonely being the wife of an alcoholic and to know that he has chosen alcohol over me. He was the person I could talk to about my problems and now I talk to my cat! I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends or family because they all love him and are not aware of this problem. I guess I need advice from someone in the same situation. Anyone out there have any?