Concerned about my health going forward

About me… I’m 36 years old, male. I live alone and have no children. I drink basically every night of the week except Sunday. That’s the day I give my insides a break. I always start drinking around 6-7 pm and stop before 10 pm so I can function the next day.

My drink of choice is Vodka and diet coke and I always drink on an empty stomach to intensify the effect. Usually between 8-10 drinks in just a few hour window. I always drink alone. Weekends can be 10-15 drinks or more. I can go without drinking a day or two, only issue I have is trouble falling asleep without the alcohol in my bloodstream.

The funny thing is I have been doing this same routine for over 12 years and actually in fairly good health. I body-build and hit the gym 4-5 times a week, after work and before I start the drinking procedure. I eat a better diet than most Americans and I’m not overweight. I had a CT scan of my liver a couple of years ago to see how destroyed it is and to my surprise it was perfect, not even showing fatty liver. I have, however developed very high blood pressure and have gastritis often.

I am also very successful at my job of 15 years as I now run the company I work for. I am financially secure but don’t quite have enough to retire just yet. I’m contemplating resigning to enjoy life more, but I know in my heart if I do that I’ll just become a full time drunk.

I guess I’m at the precipice and know it’s time to stop but have not found the means.

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