Coping with an Alcoholic
By Kayla Loibl | Last Edited: October 23, 2020 | 4 Sources
Coping with a Teen Alcoholic
Children of Alcoholic Parents
Keep to the seven guidelines below, and you will find it much easier to deal with the alcohol dependent in your life.
It isn't easy living with an alcoholic, especially when that person is a close, loved one, such as...
- an alcoholic boyfriend,
- a teen alcoholic,
- a grandparent,
- a spouse,
- or a, or both, parent(s).
Alcoholism is insidious and can, if allowed to, tear apart the entire family. Usually, the family members of alcoholics experience intense physical, social, and psychological, trauma because of the core drinking problem of their family member.
Alcoholism is a disease and just like any disease, it has to be treated. With no professional help or guidance, an alcoholic would most likely continue to drink and might even become worse over time.
Conditions like alcoholism are nobody’s fault. Other people are more vulnerable to wanting to drink alcohol excessively. Experts believe alcoholism has to do with genetics, and things like life events and family history.
Oftentimes, what begins as a bad habit could develop into a very big problem. For instance, people might drink to cope with issues such as boredom, money troubles, or work stress. Maybe there is an illness in the family, or their parents are having marital problems.
However, there are strategies you can employ to help you cope with an alcoholic in a less disruptive way
Below you will find some guidelines on how best to cope with an alcoholic, they are not set in stone so adapt them to your particular circumstances.
7 Guidelines for Coping with an Alcoholic
If you are living with an alcoholic, it’s crucial to understand what is behind the alcohol addiction and to learn how to cope. Here is what you need to know to win over the challenges of alcoholism.
- Confront Them
You do need to let them know that you are aware that they have a problem. Often, they aren't aware of it or at least not admitting it to themselves. They are in what is called alcoholism denial Unfortunately, often loved ones will deny it as well. Rather than coping with an alcoholic, they'll pretend the problem doesn't exist. Even if your loved one won't admit the truth to themselves, it will help you deal with things better by getting the problem out into the open.
- Set Boundaries
As a family member, dealing with an alcoholic can play havoc with normal relationships and boundaries. You must set clear boundaries and have clear consequences for when the alcoholic crosses those boundaries. If you set a boundary, you must carry through with the consequences or the behavior will definitely continue and most likely escalate.
- Let Them Live with the Consequences
It's easy for those of us who are coping with an alcoholic to want to make things go away in order for life to be smooth. This is not the best way to deal with it, however. The alcoholic will never hit bottom and have the incentive to change if we continue to smooth the road for them. They need to live with the consequences that come from their drinking.
- Do Not Enable Them
Don't cover up for the alcoholic by lying to their boss or calling in sick for them. Don't make excuses to people for their actions. Some people hide the alcoholic's behavior from the world and they shouldn't. By hiding it, you are enabling an alcoholic to continue with their behaviors.
- Take Care of Yourself
You need to think about what is best for you and act accordingly. A support group, such as Al-anon, a mutual support program for individuals whose lives have been impacted by someone else’s drinking, can be very helpful in learning to take care of yourself, separate from the alcoholic.
- Let Go
Sometimes it gets to the point where coping with an alcoholic is just too much and it puts you in danger. You may have to give the alcoholic an ultimatum – stop drinking or I'm out of here. There is nothing wrong with this but be sure that if you lay down an ultimatum that you stick to your guns and follow through on your promise. Sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to them.
- Support Sobriety
Dealing with an alcoholic can sometimes be difficult even when they are trying to stay sober. Defeating alcoholism is not just a matter of giving up drinking, therefore the recovering alcoholic will have to deal with some emotional and physical symptoms that could result in them lashing out at those closest to them. There will also be times where they will be tempted to stray and drink. Help them by not drinking around them and make sure they know you support what they are doing.
Coping with an alcoholic is incredibly difficult. Yet, it doesn't need to be, C.P.Lehman in his book, Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict gives you the strategies that will enable you to cope better with the alcohol dependent in your life. Get your life back on track and find the happiness you so deserve.
Lead Writer/Reviewer : Kayla Loibl
Licensed Medical Health Professional
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. Read More
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