Dating an Alcoholic

by Cathy
(Hoffman Estates, IL USA)

What you have, lots of bars, parties, eating dinner in a restaurant and sitting at the bar instead of a table because he’s more at home there.

Goals and dreams are only to the extent of what is happening the next weekend.

St. Patrick’s Day and Fourth of July Parades turn into a drink fest at 10:00am in the morning and the rest of the day goes down from there.

Thanksgiving and Christmas can’t be celebrated without wine, even if he’s the only one drinking it.

Where ever you go you have to drive because he doesn’t have a driver’s license.

Vacation days are reserved for the days following Holidays so he can sleep it off the next day.

Heart to Heart talks are forgotten the next day, sometimes the whole phone call is. There is nothing that makes me cry more than him saying “did I talk to you last night”.

Talking in the morning to the man you love, talking after work to a 12 year old adolescent who thinks everything is a funny joke.

Having heart surgery, and he asks you if you will still be able to go to the Super Bowl Party, in 3 days.

Not being able to come and see you because he doesn’t drive, but always able to get a ride or take a cab to the bar.

So, why am I crying now that I asked him not to be a part of my life anymore?

By: Cathy Sacomano

Comments for Dating an Alcoholic

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Apr 03, 2013
Delt with it for 20 years
by: Anonymous

I know this drill. Everything revolves around Bars and Drinking. This "was" my girlfriend who has found someone else to provide her "needs" because I refuse to go along with it any more. 20 years is a long time and it hurt to watch her leave but it will be for the better in the long run. I beleave she will be facing prison or death where she is now. and I don't have to deal with it. It hurts but you did the right thing.

Jan 04, 2013
Good for you!
by: Tammy

You wrote that so well, I never thought of how it must be for someone dating an alcoholic. My parents were/are alcoholic, but I've never dated like that.
Thanks so much for sharing that!

Mar 28, 2012
Been there....
by: Anonymous

Cathy don't cry! You made a good decision. I grew up with it and picked the same kind of guy over and over again. Happier to be single and work out my own life! May God bless and watch over you! Hugs from your friend; KB

Mar 25, 2012
Thank you - Not Drunk anymore
by: Cathy

Thank you for your support, I appreciate your post more than you will ever know.

Mar 21, 2012
Rebuild Your Life -- Give Yourself Time to Grief
by: Not Drunk Anymore

Hi Cathy --

Your post nailed it! If you read and re-read what you wrote, you will know you made the right decision.

It wasn't easy.

I've been through treatment twice. At one point, I was asked to write a letter saying goodbye to booze as if I was saying goodbye to a lover.

It was eye-opening; it made me realize that I was in love with drinking. I still look back fondly on some of my misadventures -- even though they are absolutely crackpot crazy and dangerous. I am lucky I am not dead.

Your letter shows your beloved is in the same situation -- he loves boozing more than you.

It will not be easy to rebuild your life without him. Please give yourself time to grieve, get involved with new people and new activities that please you -- yoga, Gourmet Singles, night classes, dancing -- whatever rocks your world.

You made the right choice. Don't go backward. Good luck.

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