GOT to do it this time!

Been trying to stay sober for 6 months now, have relapsed 3 times. Last summer I fell due to drinking and hit my head so hard I had a brain bleed and a fractured scull. Was in the hospital for a week then in a rehab facility for a week. The Dr.s said I was lucky to be alive, and I know that, so why did I relapse? You'd think nearly dying would be enough to scare anyone off alcohol forever! I've got so much to live for and the last relapse my family told me they'd had enough, if this happens again, certain measures would be taken. I have the most wonderful kids and family, and I think the hardest part is what I've done to them. I've scared them half to death, they've disrupted their lives for me, and I've broken their hearts. I had a grandson now who is the absolute love of my life, and to think I almost missed watching him grow up just kills me. When my son said he didn't know how he would explain to my 1 and 1/2 year old grandson where his grandma was if I'd died really hit home. I know this disease WILL kill me if this continues to happen, so for my self, and my family I am very determined this time to make it!!