What assistance can a partner/wife get to help an alcoholic?
It all depends on whether the alcoholic wants help. If they don’t then there is little you can do except look after yourself. It sounds selfish but it is outside your power to help somebody who doesn’t want to be helped.
On the other hand, if the person concerned wants help with their alcoholism then there is much you can do. Your first step should be to accompany your partner to your local G.P., he or she should be able to diagnose whether alcohol dpenendence is an issue. A G.P. will no doubt recommend a course of action for alcoholism treatment (if required), remember this is only a recommendation. G.Ps are not experts in the various treatments for alcohol dependence and therefore it is up to you and your partner to examine the options open to you (for more on alcoholism treatment options, read Alcohol Dependency Treatment Options). Knowledge is everything when it comes to alcohol dependence and this means researching the treatment options available and helping your partner choose the most effective one. Look around and if one doesn’t fit then ty another.
On a practical level it is important that you are there for the alcoholic at all times. Recovering from alcoholism is a long and hard road for all concerned and requires a commitment on your part also. This does not mean that tou should forget the pain your partners alcoholism may have caused you, but if you are truly interested in your partner’s recovery from alcohol dependence then resentments and past slights should not be used as a weapon, particularly when in early recovery. By all means confront your partner about them in the future but only when he is strong enough to face them.
Always remember, however, that no matter how much you care for your partner it is important you also take care of yourself.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.