I started drinking again, but this time I lost more

by Jaime
(california)

I am up and unable to sleep. Four days ago I relapsed. I was in a black out. I didn’t realize that my first day I texted my boss and her husband (I don’t even know what I texted. She wont even tell me she said it was pretty weird). So at the result of this, she knew I wasn’t sick when I had texted her at 6:00 in the morning. At that point she had called my mom worried that I need to be found and put in a program. Her and her husband have been in the program for 30 years. My poor parents were driving to all the bars looking for me and blowing up my phone.

The sad part I have been lieing to everyone for a few months. I started taking pills and I knew deep down I was going to drink. So I have lost my job. I moved back in with my parents a year ago, to get sober and to go back to school. I’m a full time student. I will have to drop my classes so I can do treatment again. I have let so many people down. Its amazing how much you can lose in a 3 day blackout. I guess I should be thankful I get another chance to do it again. I do know one thing If I don’t take this seriously this will kill me with all the drinking and pills I’m lucky to be alive. I am so sad, sometimes I would have a snotty attitude and not listen to people in the program. I have paid for this I need to be willing.

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