I have been drinking daily for the past 30 years. I am a female, 59 years old. What signs are there to determine the impact this has had on my body? I have physical aches, pain all over my body, and my stomach feels like an inferno 24/7. I did have an ulcer, blood in my black stool, and seizures as witnessed by my husband. He says that my eyes roll, I shake and scream, and yell and have radical rapid breathing. I only remember a little bit of what happened. Also, my temperature on 5/20/2019 was 99.9 at mid-day, and 99.1 at 10:00 am, and today 5/21/2019 it was 97.1. I am completely terrified and scared during these episodes, which last about 20 minutes. Afterward, I have anxiety/panic attacks, and fear being outside and seeing neighbors. I feel guilty, and feel like everyone I see knows what happened. I try to avoid any social contact. I only want to be with my husband, and feel so sorry he had to witness these attacks (4 in the last 2 years). I can see the fear in his teary eyes which is very painful for both of us in different ways. It also hurt when I read an article at a website about alcoholism, saying how it affects things such as hair loss, rashes, skin irritation, and other problems.
I was born and raised in Kaimuki, Hawaii and went to Kaimuki High School. I was married to my childhood friend for 24 years, divorced for 7 years, and we are back together again, but not remarried. Together we raised 3 sons (2 are mine from previous relations, oldest is 40 and my youngest is 34). His 1 son is also the same age 34. It was like raising twins. The oldest is engaged and they have 2 girls; one is 4, and the younger is 1.5 years of age. The youngest is in the Air Force and will retire at 40, in 5 years. He is legally married with 3 children, ages from oldest to youngest: Daughter 10, Daughter 8, and Son 4.
I have tried my best to explain my condition so that I can help anyone reading this. I appreciate any feedback. Mahalo in advance for all answers as well as other information you provide. I know there are many more items I failed to mention. Please send me any information that would be of help.
I THINK I AM GOING TO DIE SOON.
I am very sorry to hear about your struggle with alcoholism. It sounds like you have strongly affected your physical and mental health. Long-term alcoholism can cause alcoholic dementia, as you stated. Dementia is mostly characterized by effects on your memory. I am not sure if you are experiencing loss of memory or not. Long-term alcoholism can also cause language impairment, issues with motor skills (like putting on shoes), neuropathy (numbness and tingling in extremities), psychosis, depression, anxiety, and even changes in personality.
Of course, alcoholism can cause a wide range of additional physical issues which may explain the symptoms that you are having. My recommendation would be that you contact the local hospital to get a list of resources for help with alcohol detox. It will likely be unsafe for you to detox by yourself. Quitting drinking is your best hope for a longer life and an improved quality of life.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.