I have just spent a disastrous day out with a friend of mine. We all had some Cava on the way there in the limo and I was ‘in charge’ of topping up everyone’s glasses. My friend had no more than anyone else, yet after our lunch we then entered the event and had another drink at one of the bars.
All of us felt fine yet by this time my friend suddenly was incredibly drunk, we are talking completely unable to stand up, slurring her words, attempting to pinch strangers drinks, shouting and yelling non-sensically etc!!!! We managed to get her over to a bench and by this time she was drunkenly muttering and falling asleep. I eventually got a double shot of espresso down her! Two of us then frogmarched this 20 stone lady whose knees kept buckling back to the limo where she fell into a drunken sleep!! Her excuse was she was very tired and has had a busy life recently and needed her holiday in two days time!
Two hours later she woke up totally unapologetic and as if she ‘had done nothing wrong! By this time I was cringing with shame at her behaviour in front of my other friends (I am not a prude, I like a drink too!). She then tucked into more alcohol (any humbled person would have stayed on water!)and became very drunk again.
In short I am totally disgusted at her but at the same time am worried that she is an alcoholic. Now thinking about it, she does always get truly ‘hammered’ when we go out and very quickly too, could she be allergic?
We are all in our 40s and I would have thought by now would have learned some self-control but she appears to be getting worse. She is very well-off, has three kids and her husband does tend to travel with his job, but she constantly tells everyone how luck and happy she is!
Very strange, particularly as she is 20 stone and appears to have drunk the same amount as the rest of you yet with completely different results.
I can think of two reasons as to why this amount of alcohol had this effect on her:
• She may be hypersensitive to alcohol, that is when she drinks even small amounts have a big effect on her as compared to the average person. However, this is something she must be aware of (she is in her 40’s after all) and if she is, why is she still drinking more than she can handle?
• She may have been drinking prior to going out with you. This a common ‘tactic’ of alcohol dependents in so far as they will binge on alcohol before they go out. This means they can drink the same amount as everyone else in the group and their voracious appetite for alcohol will not be revealed to all. Therefore when she got very drunk it was not just as a result of the few drinks she had with you, but also due to the ones she had had before meeting up in the limo.
What is strange, though, is her attitude when she came to after the first drunken episode. This is classic alcoholic denial and is most definitely a red flag for alcohol dependence.
Whatever the reason for this incident, it would seem that your friend has a problem with alcohol. Just because she is well-off, has kids and says she is happy does not mean all is well.
All the best,
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.