It Hurts

by Anon
(Usa)

It hurts. I'm an alcoholic. My father was alcoholic and died from it at 56 and I stand here today knowing that and still drink. I'm 34 and "think" I have signs of decay, yet have gone back to the doctor after elevated liver enzyme results. I'm scared. What is wrong with me? Why can't I help myself or for that matter want to? I am so weak. The alcohol has affected my job and now my personal life. My husband wants to send me to rehab but he drinks too but that doesn't change that I hurt him too. Most days I go to work and hopefully avoid confrontation in hopes they won't smell it on me (which they have and I still get second or third chances). I'm good at what I do. I hurt right now. It hurts that I might die of the same thing my dad did and I feel like shit that I may hurt others, particularly my mother, in a whole new level. I love her so much. She doesn't deserve this but I can't tell her. Alcoholism is a disease...I know that more than ever now and still can't change. It makes me feel like a horrible person because I am. Every week I say it is my "detox" week. Hardly. I started drinking in the morning (granted, only on weekends a plus?). It hurts.

My drink of choice: Jameson

Comments for It Hurts

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 16, 2021
Try Everything
by: Mark

Just start one thing.....if that does not feel right, or you can not consistently continue, then try the next thing there are a lot of options as this one site shows.
There is NO one fix - you have to find the WHY in your life(mum, kids,partner)then one step at a time.
Remember PROGRESS not PERFECTION.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Alcoholism Stories.




Alcoholism Help Homepage | What is Alcoholism | Signs of Alcoholism | Alcoholism Tests | Alcohol Abuse Effects | Living with an Addict | Alcoholism Recovery | The AA Way| Alcoholism Cure| Alcoholism Medication | My Story | Alcoholism Guide Blog | Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy



REHAB


TREATMENT


Real Life Stories

  1. It Hurts

    Aug 16, 21 01:58 AM

  2. Was alcohol causing my hair loss???

    Aug 16, 21 01:42 AM

  3. My life

    Aug 16, 21 01:30 AM