by Mandla Sibeko
Sobriety is a must for me not an option. When I used to drink, I was like mad. I used to delay going to work just to have a few drinks. Then finally I decided to resign from my job because I was no longer able to maintain the correct time to start work. I resigned, but to me it was a blessing because I had enough opportunity to mess around and to see the mess I had caused to my life.
I always had to have a beer next to my bed. So that when I woke up, I had to drink this beer to get back to sleep. I was so talkative and such a bully. I could not wash myself let alone change my clothes. One time I was invited back to my childhood home, my father was very ill, suffering from cancer, so he called all of us to meet before he died. It was Wednesday when I received the invitation. We were supposed to meet him the following day, Thursday. He invited all his children and I happen to be one of them. To me it was so unfortunate that I was unable to make it, due to the fact that I was so dirty and had nothing nice to put on. I had to postpone it to the following Friday so that I could get a chance to buy new clothes – socks, t-shirt, trousers. I also had to wash myself as I hadn’t for weeks. I managed to see him bu was alone. Even after all of this I got my blessings. He later died.
I later accepted my problem with alcohol and joined the Soweto Group of AA, but it took 2 years for me to find another job,I was determined to stay on course. Given that the support was always there, at the Soweto Group:
1.I found a job and became much more reliable
2. I married my fiancé who had left me before.
3. I was a darling to my mother and I took responsibility for looking after her.
4. I bought a car.
5. My mother died, I looked after those who were left at home.
6. I managed my younger brother’s wedding exceptionally.
7. I bought myself a house.
8. Now I’m a grandfather who is so responsible.
9. I work as well as a graduate although I did not even pass matriculation.
I will alway kneel down to thank you AA, you made me the man I never was!!
This life is full of surprises. Everything just happened when I accepted the real condition of my life.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.