My husband is an alcoholic, I think he’s a functioning alcoholic, he holds a job but he has had many jobs in the ten years I’ve known him. He has had this last job for almost a yeaar now, that will be a record. He drinks everyday, from expensive beer to 40’s of cheap beer, he’s not picky. I would say he drinks at least the equivelant of a 12 pack a night. Now that he has income he spends a lot of money on beer and marijuana, he justifies this by saying he has a job, he’s an earner. He is not physically abusive but I am definitely his favorite target when it come to his sarcastic remarks and picking on someone. We live alone, our nest is empty. He spends every night alone in the garage, listening to music, getting high and drinking beer. He doesn’t have many freinds, he says I am his best friend. As soon as he’s drunk he starts accusing me of not loving him, of having someone else… sometimes I think he is deflecting and maybe he doesn’t ove me nymore. I’m not sure how I would feel if he left, he is my best freind, I love him but I resent him a lot for expecting me to take care of the house on my own. I am feeling stuck, absolutely unappreciated but I don’t know how I would feel if he left, not that he ever will, he will never leave me… I put up with his crap every single day.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.
Jul 03, 2020
I think you need to work on your self-confidence – especially if you complain about his behaviour but you are still unsure how you would feel if you left?
It is not easy…..
What do you want out of life?
Is this the type of relationship you want?
He may not be capable of stepping up or it may be the prompt he needs.
Work on yourself, that is the first step and the rest of the answers will come.