I need help to get away from him, I don’t want to be here anymore, he lies, manipulates, blames me for everything. I’m a team-leader and I work hard, but he says I do nothing. I’m so low.
Yes, it sounds like you do need to get away from him, but why do you need help? Is he violent or threaten violence towards you if you try to leave him? if this is the case then you need to inform your local police department, if this is not an option then you have to get out of the house and find a safe place to go. This could be a friend’s house, the house of a relative, a refuge anywhere that he cannot get to you.
If he is not physically violent toward you and you find it hard to leave him, then you need to ask yourself why it is you are staying with him. What advantage is there to you if you stay with him? Once you can answer this question then you will find it easier to leave him.
Many wives of alcoholics stay with their abusive husbands (verbal and emotional abuse) because over the years they have lost all their self-esteem due to the environment they have lived in. If you are constantly belittled, blamed for everything and generally made to feel useless then, over time, you will start to believe that, yes you are worthless and, so the thinking goes, if you’re worthless then you get all that you deserve and anyway, even if you did leave him nobody else would want you. So many women stay in these relationships, believing it is better to be abused and in a relationship than to be alone. It doesn’t have to be this way.
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. I have since settled in North Carolina. I have experience working with various stages of addiction, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, stages of life concerns and relationship concerns.
I tend to use a person-centered approach which simply means that I meet you where you are and work collaboratively to help you identify and work towards accomplishing goals. I will often pull from CBT when appropriate. I do encourage use of mindfulness and meditation and practice these skills in my own life. I believe in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity and compassion.
I recognize that reaching out for help is hard and commend you for taking the first step. We have professionals available who would be happy to help you move closer to reaching your goals related to your drinking concerns. You may reach these professionals by calling 877-322-2694.