Substance use disorders or SUD affect not only the user but their significant others and their families as well. Some studies suggest that a user’s partner’s responses to drinking or substance abuse might either hinder or facilitate treatment acceptance as well as recovery efforts. Female partners of male alcoholics have been usually labeled as enablers or codependents.
Most people who enable an alcohol dependent don't even realize they are doing it. They might even have an enabling addiction.
Enabling behaviors are those that support our addicted partner’s chemical abuse. By not letting the addicted person accept the consequences for his actions…by offering them a pillow every time they fall back to their bad habits…we are actually enabling their substance use.
Enabling addiction suggests that you make it possible for an alcoholic to drink. You do this unwittingly; you truly believe that you are trying to help.
However, all you are doing is making the problem a whole lot worse.
Enabling an alcoholic doesn't necessarily mean that you buy someone lots of drinks so that he or she can feed their addiction. It can be much more subtle than that.
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Enabling behaviors are, in short, those that allow, help or even encourage the alcoholism of an individual to continue.
Enabling, however misguided, is born of love not hate.
Above all, it is important to be aware of our behavior so that we can stop enabling. Not enabling an addict is the best thing we can do for him or her.
Enabling only reinforces alcoholism denial and prevents an alcoholic from seeking treatment.
![]() Do you want to stop enabling someone you care about? Then look no further than C.P.Lehman's e-book, Help Me! I'm In Love With An Addict. This fantastic resource gives you the strategies to find happiness and get your life back on track...without enabling the alcohol dependent in your life. |
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Lead Writer/Reviewer : Kayla Loibl
Licensed Medical Health Professional
Hello!
I am a Mental Health Counselor who is licensed in both New York (LMHC) and North Carolina (LCMHC). I have been working in the Mental Health field since 2015. I have worked in a residential setting, an outpatient program and an inpatient addictions program. I began working in Long Island, NY and then in Guelph, Ontario after moving to Canada. Read More
Sources:
PubMed. Enabling Behavior in a Clinical Sample of Alcohol-dependent Clients and Their Partners. June 2004. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15182891/
University of Pennsylvania Health System. Enabling Behaviors. http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/addiction/berman/family/enabling.html
Al-Anon Family Groups. Mothering or Enabling? Dec. 4, 2017. https://al-anon.org/blog/mothering-or-enabling/
Truth of Addiction. https://www.truthofaddiction.com/special/?hop=kidcompute
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